Old people are often more ready to accept their own approaching death than are those who love them. Persons who have lived fully are not usually afraid to die. Death is after all, the natural end of life.
We often make the mistake of trying to keep a dying person alive as long as possible, no matter the cost. Sometimes this adds to the suffering and strain for both the person and his family. There are many occasions when the kindest thing to do is not to hunt for better medicine or a better doctor, but to be close to and supporting of the person dying. I lost my grandfather early this year. I thought I could handle it as I said to myself, "well, old people die". I guess I was using that to console myself because it really hurt. Initially I didn't cry( people have different ways of dealing with grieve), but after a few days, I lost it. I cried at night and felt sad during the day. It even got worse during the burial. It was then I knew I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.
In the last hours of a person's life, it is good to let him know that you're glad for all the time, the joy, the sorrow you have shared, and that you too are able to accept his death. It would be difficult to say but love and acceptance will do far more good than medicines.
Old or chronically ill people will prefer to be at home, in a familiar environment with those they love, than to be in a hospital. At times this may mean that the person will die earlier but it is not necessarily bad, because forcing the person to stay in the hospital is simply avoiding the inevitable conclusion. The person who is dying suffers more knowing that the cost of keeping him barely alive caused his family to go into debt or children to hunger. He may ask to be allowed to die and there are times when this may be the right decision.
Weep if you must, but let her know that even as you love her, and because you love her, you have the strength to let her leave you. This will give her the strength and courage to accept leaving you. To let her know these things you need not just say them, you need to feel them and show them.
Yet people fear death. Perhaps the most important job of the healer is to help people accept death when it can or should no longer be avoided, and to help ease the suffering of those who still live.
We often make the mistake of trying to keep a dying person alive as long as possible, no matter the cost. Sometimes this adds to the suffering and strain for both the person and his family. There are many occasions when the kindest thing to do is not to hunt for better medicine or a better doctor, but to be close to and supporting of the person dying. I lost my grandfather early this year. I thought I could handle it as I said to myself, "well, old people die". I guess I was using that to console myself because it really hurt. Initially I didn't cry( people have different ways of dealing with grieve), but after a few days, I lost it. I cried at night and felt sad during the day. It even got worse during the burial. It was then I knew I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.
Old or chronically ill people will prefer to be at home, in a familiar environment with those they love, than to be in a hospital. At times this may mean that the person will die earlier but it is not necessarily bad, because forcing the person to stay in the hospital is simply avoiding the inevitable conclusion. The person who is dying suffers more knowing that the cost of keeping him barely alive caused his family to go into debt or children to hunger. He may ask to be allowed to die and there are times when this may be the right decision.
Weep if you must, but let her know that even as you love her, and because you love her, you have the strength to let her leave you. This will give her the strength and courage to accept leaving you. To let her know these things you need not just say them, you need to feel them and show them.
Yet people fear death. Perhaps the most important job of the healer is to help people accept death when it can or should no longer be avoided, and to help ease the suffering of those who still live.
